Hooligan Guest Article: Arsenal Update by Willard Hancock

Despite serious grammatical errors and a raging bias, we have decided to privilege Willard Hancock with a guest post on behalf of his beloved Arsenal...

Three games played and Arsenal is looking pretty damn good. 10 goals in two league matches and an impressive slash lucky win against Celtic… I’m not complaining, but it is interesting to hear people continue to write us off. AND! For those of you who are shocked, let it be known I saw this coming 2 years ago. I’ll remind you that Arsenal is the only team that matters, all the other teams just show up to play us. It would indeed be very boring if we won every year.

Something interesting to point out… Only 1 striker (Eduardo) has scored for us thus far. This doesn’t bother me as long as the goals keep coming, but it scares me a bit that William Gallas is the leading scorer for the team. One from a header, another off the ass, and he managed to smother one in with his lower lip (despite what replays may tell you, it was his lip that scored). A little side note, I wonder which is more likely to happen, Gallas scores with his feet or Shevchenko scores…Ponder on that for a min.

This Wednesday we take on Celtic at the Emirates. They should wrap things up here, although I expect AW to twik the starting 11 a bit to keep every1 healthy in preparation for the United game. I think Fabregas will sit this one out with groin problems or what have you, nothing serious. Not too much to say about this one. We’re a shoe in.

Now for the reason I am writing this blog, Arsenal V. United 12:15ET on FSC. I’m looking forward to this one and predicting a 3-1 win to the Arsenal with goals from RvP, Arshavin, and William Gallas’ penis. I’m certain his penis will smack one in for us (no homo). With Ferdinand out and van der Sar turning 93 this year I am willing to bet AW’s squad take care of business at Old Trafford. As for United, some kid named Rattanak Seng (look him up on facebook he is real) thinks Park Ji-Sung will sneak 1 in for a consolation goal and then celebrate by showing 52,000 fans how to properly cook a cat, b/c I’ve always wanted to know. Of course if my predictions are wrong I will gladly tattoo a picture of Wayne Rooney across my back 

Well that’s that, I’m gonna go back to watching Royal Pains. I find the white guy with the curly hair amusing and the Indian girl is good looking. Decent show I guess. Good night, more later.

-Willard Hancock (Subtleaggro)